Hilary Behning Anderson (Oakes)

Hilary Behning Anderson (Oakes) died unexpectedly on October 1, 2025. She was born September 26, 1992, to Patricia and Larry Oakes. She was the baby of our family and had us all wrapped around her finger. She was sweet, smart, and funny, and she loved to sing and was curious about everything. She adored animals, so much so that she became a vegetarian at age 9. Her siblings wondered at first whether she just wanted to eat more cheese quesadillas and less meatloaf, but she proved us wrong by sticking with this choice for life, becoming vegan several years later. She had strong opinions about clothes and fashion from a very young age, rolling her eyes and shaking her head at the clothing choices of her older sister. She attended Marshall High school, graduating in 2011, then attended Lake Superior College.

After college, she worked as a model in both Duluth and New Orleans. She also worked as a server, bartender and, later, as a Reiki practitioner. She was proud of her Reiki practice and was dedicated to holistic healing. True to her Libra nature, she was both stubborn and laid back, principled and open-minded.

Hilary loved performing, both in theater as a child and in high school, and later in New Orleans and with the Duluth Dolls. She made many friends in this community, including her late friend Maddie Reis. Hilary was beautiful and charismatic and knew how to hold an audience.

Hilary met Phil Anderson in 2014 and fell in love with him and his daughter, Eliza. They were married on October 11, 2024, in a beautiful ceremony in Grand Marais. Hilary loved being Eliza’s second mom and felt she was meant for the job. They shared a love of fashion, movies, and animals. She was so proud of Eliza and loved her immensely.

Hilary was preceded in death by her father, Larry Oakes III, grandfather Larry Oakes II, aunt Brenda Bailey and friend Maddie. She is survived by her husband, Phil Anderson, daughter, Eliza Anderson, mother, Patricia Oakes, grandmother Carol Oakes, grandparents Gerald and Gladys Behning, brother, Mike (Megan) Oakes, sister, Amy (Sarah) Oakes, niece, Emily Mertz, nephew, Elijah Mertz, uncle Mark (Linda) Behning, aunt Gerri (Dave) Hanson, uncle Greg (Martha) Oakes, cousins Sara (Dylan Hendrickson) Behning, Jesse (Lena) Behning, Samantha Halon, Kathryn (Josh) Perronne, Steven (Khrystal) VanKauwenberg, Sarah (Jovan) Mikovic and countless friends and extended family, as well as her beloved pets Mina, Nala, Edgar, and Harwin. Hilary was buried Tuesday in a ceremony with family at Forest Hill Cemetery in Duluth. A reception will be held on Friday, October 10 at 7:30pm to 9:30pm at Lake Superior Brewing Co. in Duluth.

Because I could not stop for Death—

He kindly stopped for me—

The Carriage held but just Ourselves—

And Immortality

(Emily Dickinson, “Because I could not stop for Death,” stanza 1)